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Self First But Not Self Only

In 2018 I attended a year long class that focused on ME and the instructor would always say, “Self-first, but not self only.” 

I’ve worked with women for over 12 years and now understand what that term TRULY means because I see so many women taking care of others before taking the time to care for themselves.  They put off what they want and desire to help others, not realizing when they need the same in return, excuses are made.

As I am sitting here writing this, a client just texted wanting to know if I was in the office.  I said yes and she texted back, “I’m on my way.”  This is an example of Self-First, but not self only. 

The day before I communicated with this client and I know that she is about to leave to handle some family business but in the midst of that, she made sure she did not miss an appointment to continue her self-care.

But this is not always the case.  I have some clients that will drop everything they are doing to help others before they tend to their own needs.  I’m not saying don’t help other people, I’m saying tend to your needs first and then help others.  If you don’t take care of yourself, who will?

When you are always lending a helping hand, you may be a people pleaser or an over giver.  Are you an over giver?  Think about this, do you say YES to people, when you really want to say NO. Do put the things you want to do on pause to help others?  Do you give when you don’t have it to give?  If you answered yes, you are an over giver and a people pleaser. 

The good news is you can change.  Start with saying NO when you don’t want to do something for someone and establish boundaries within your life. Boundaries teach people how to treat you.  Enforcing those boundaries will be hard at first but when you see that they help you call back YOUR energy and power….it will get easier for you to operate in your day-to-day life. 

LaShun Teboh

Womb Energy Healer & Glow Up Life Coach

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